
It freaked me out, whenever i received a call, that someone who is a part of my life , has gone. Gone to another world.
One by one, people that i acknowledge, leave me. Soon everyone will be gone, leaving me behind.
You may have read my previous post, on how frustrated i am towards my parents.
But still, they are my parents. I can't imagine, life without these souls.
Sometimes, i wonder, what if one day, they die? Well, i know in life, everyone will die. No one will survive forever.
All of us will experience death, time will tell. Life goes on, no matter whatever happened.
And at times, i asked myself, what if today was my last ?
What if, i had no chance to prove to my parents, my family that i can be successful. that i am different from the rest.
What if, i can't lead my own family? Have my own kids?
or what if i'm married in the future and pregnant, but i die while giving birth to my first child?
What if, it is my last. Who going to takecare of my parents?
Who is going to console my dear cousin,hani and my darling girlfriend, huda?
Who is going to protect my sister from any harms? who is going love and care for my loved ones? for Mr.fate?
My thoughts has been running wild since the past few weeks. I'm afraid, afraid of the future, of death, of everything.
I don't know what the future brings, but i know i still have the man above by me always .
Trust me, i have been praying for you, from far, hoping for the best, all night.
I don't want karma to repeat itself. I don't want to lose any of you.
To arwah,
may you rest in peace and may god forgive all your sins and be with him in the safest, wonderful place; syurga.
*insyallah*