Love?
Not any time soon, i'll wait for the right time & right one. (:
This is where i pen down all my thoughts, and almost everything about my life.
I'm not perfect. i have my flaws too. But i try to be the best for myself and others.
Yes! Yes!
I live my life to the very fullest.
But i do not neglect the man above and the people around me.
Oh Oh Yea !! And I don't care if you hate me or bitch bout me, cause your just making me famous, baybeh.
Thanks for visiting my blog. Good day readers~. (:
5:15 PM
never even once have i ever seen you talking to me nicely . you only did when you want something , when your just plain lazy to get the things by yourself. why must you always scold me? giving me advice is fine ! but calling me names? saying that I'm useless and arcetra . fineee ! i am careless ! well , you know what your careless too ! in fact everyone is laaa . no one in this world is fucking puuuuur-fect ! you never treated me like I'm yours , dad. never ! you always looked down on me. saying that i'm a slut , an animal ? if i'm an animal ? what are you ? without you there's no me. i appreciate all the things you have done for me and the family . do you know i loved you the most ? do you know out of all your other children. who actually bother to iron your clothes? who actually bother to take your medicine and remind you to eat them? who actually bother to ask if you have had your lunch or dinner? who actually bother to rot at home and just to keep you company? who actually bother to take care of you when your down with high fever ? who actually bother to help you take off your stinky -never-wash socks??? who dad ? WHO ? its your 15 year old girl , sitinurshila ! its me ,dad ! ME !
do you know i pray for each one of our family members? do you know that ? who in this family actually pray ? listen to syarahan ? go for all these islamic courses?go teraweh? wanting to be the best daughter? for heaven sake laa . open up your eyes !its me ! every night before tugging in to bed, i pray to HIM , asking him for blessing for you , for me , for US ! do you know how much i love you dad? do you know that ?? do you know you mean the world to me?
in this family , siapa yang takpernahkurang ajar ngankaw? aku la . akuu ! anakanakkaw yang lain semua? semuapernahtengkingkatkaw , tapiakupernahke? satuperkataanponakutakpernahnakbalasbalik . you tried to kill me before dad. i will never forget that incident . read this , NEVER ! but still , nothing stop me from loving you. cause i know , you don't have the entire life and i can't find someone like you. it just triggered me when you actually thought that I'm just another useless daughter. can't you see I'm trying my fucking best to gain that trust that I've once lost it ? can't you see that i put you first before anything else? you always make me cry , i don't mind crying for you even if its tears of blood, dad .
i just don't get it . what have i done that you must always do this to me. how can i possibly work this out if your treating me this way ? its those words that hurt me alot , dad. those harsh words. you know I'm sensitive don't you? but why are you doing this to me , dad? its not fair , i'm not asking for much , i'm not asking what others girl's dad give them . I'm just asking you to treat me like i'm really yours. is that too much? i know you can't afford to buy me all those luxuries . i understood you . in fact money can't buy everything dad . money can't buy you . i don't need money to have a happy life . all i need is you , you having faith and hope on me. that's all i ever needed . )=
no matter what , shila still loves you , hinggahujungrambutkehujungkaki. and i believe this is just a test from you , god. give me courage pleeease. ))'=
